Tonight I will not go out and party.
I will not don a mask, nor a funny hat. I will not bare my chest in attempts to gather beads. Nor will I witness anyone doing the same, unless I can talk my wife into it.
I’ve never been much of a Fat Tuesday person. I have never been to New Orleans, let alone Rio. I am told by everyone who has that Mardi Gras in the Crescent City is really something you have to experience at least once in your life.
Not this year. Instead, I likely will drag myself home, eat dinner and read a bit before sliding into my nightly coma.
Yeah, I know, I have a pretty exciting life.
I probably should have a beer, but I probably will not. It I did it would be the last one I have for 40 days.
Yes, once again I will give up suds for Lent. It is something I have done for years now. Each year I tell myself that this is really ridiculous, that I should find another way to “atone” during the Lenten season.
I usually manage to survive the 40 days. I will substitute the occasional glass of wine. I wince a bit each year on St. Patrick’s Day when I would like nothing more than to sit down with a cold one and enjoy my annual rite of spring, watching “The Quiet Man.” There is no truth they named the movie after me, but don’t ask my family about that.
There is one other area that I once again this year will attempt to incorporate into my Lenten sacrifice. However, I don’t expect to be any more successful int his endeavor this year than those past. Yes, I will again attempt to give up cursing for 40 days.
Most years I fail miserably. Look, I work in a newsroom, on old, very balky computers. Want to hear a classic blue streak? Stand in the newsroom when a computer “eats” a just-completed column. You’ll likely hear words you didn’t even know exist.
This year I’ll toss in a financial incentive in my quest to stay out of the “blue.” I’ll keep a cup on my desk and each time I curse I will toss whatever change is in my pocket into it. At the end of Lent I’ll stick it the rice bowl at church.
I would like to think that I could put this cursing thing behind me. After all, it's not an especially adult thing to do. I have been told that it is actually a sign of a weak vocabulary. The truth is my vocabulary is fine. That does not usually stop me from unfurling a fine variety of expletives when things go haywire.
If you have any tips for me, I'm all ears. Post a comment on this post or drop me an e-mail.
For now I offer this: *$!!@##!!%&*!!!
OK, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, bring on Lent.
Heaven help me.
I will not don a mask, nor a funny hat. I will not bare my chest in attempts to gather beads. Nor will I witness anyone doing the same, unless I can talk my wife into it.
I’ve never been much of a Fat Tuesday person. I have never been to New Orleans, let alone Rio. I am told by everyone who has that Mardi Gras in the Crescent City is really something you have to experience at least once in your life.
Not this year. Instead, I likely will drag myself home, eat dinner and read a bit before sliding into my nightly coma.
Yeah, I know, I have a pretty exciting life.
I probably should have a beer, but I probably will not. It I did it would be the last one I have for 40 days.
Yes, once again I will give up suds for Lent. It is something I have done for years now. Each year I tell myself that this is really ridiculous, that I should find another way to “atone” during the Lenten season.
I usually manage to survive the 40 days. I will substitute the occasional glass of wine. I wince a bit each year on St. Patrick’s Day when I would like nothing more than to sit down with a cold one and enjoy my annual rite of spring, watching “The Quiet Man.” There is no truth they named the movie after me, but don’t ask my family about that.
There is one other area that I once again this year will attempt to incorporate into my Lenten sacrifice. However, I don’t expect to be any more successful int his endeavor this year than those past. Yes, I will again attempt to give up cursing for 40 days.
Most years I fail miserably. Look, I work in a newsroom, on old, very balky computers. Want to hear a classic blue streak? Stand in the newsroom when a computer “eats” a just-completed column. You’ll likely hear words you didn’t even know exist.
This year I’ll toss in a financial incentive in my quest to stay out of the “blue.” I’ll keep a cup on my desk and each time I curse I will toss whatever change is in my pocket into it. At the end of Lent I’ll stick it the rice bowl at church.
I would like to think that I could put this cursing thing behind me. After all, it's not an especially adult thing to do. I have been told that it is actually a sign of a weak vocabulary. The truth is my vocabulary is fine. That does not usually stop me from unfurling a fine variety of expletives when things go haywire.
If you have any tips for me, I'm all ears. Post a comment on this post or drop me an e-mail.
For now I offer this: *$!!@##!!%&*!!!
OK, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, bring on Lent.
Heaven help me.
Comments