If ever there was a day when I needed the outlet of sports, in particular an Eagles game, yesterday was it.
After spending the better part of two days slogging through the incomprehensible horror of the Connecticut school shootings, I was ready for a break.
Unfortunately for me, the NFL schedule makers weren’t on the same page. The Eagles played on Thursday night this week, an ugly 34-13 blowout loss to the Bengals.
That left me looking for an outlet on Sunday. I decided it was perhaps time to start the Christmas shopping, so I took a trip to the mall.
Not a good idea.
Now, first a confession. I am not a shopper, as opposed to my better half, who really should make a living doing this. They could make a reality TV show out of the way this woman shops.
Me? I want to get in and out as quick as I can, with minimal damage to the credit cards.
That wasn’t going to happen yesterday. First, there was the line of cars just to get into the parking lot. Then there was the jockeying for position to find a parking place. And this was before I had even gotten out of the car.
Once inside, things did not improve much.
Every man I looked at seemed to have the same expression on their face. We never realized how much we missed those God-awful Eagles. Watching them fumble away another game from the comfy confines of our living room was a piece of cake compared to the agony of the mall.
I staggered around for about 45 minutes, then raised the white flag. I called my wife (we had split up so Santa could go about his work) and asked if she was ready to leave. She was in the line at JC Penney’s after finding another bargain, a snappy little skirt she picked up for 10 bucks. Nobody sniffs out a bargain like this girl.
She peppered me with questions about why I had not been able to find anything, and offered lots of helpful suggestions.
My head pounded.
When I got home, the NFL decided to add a little insult to the injury. The Giants got blown out, while the Redskins and Cowboys both won. That means the three of them are tied atop the NFC East at 8-6.
The Eagles? They remain dead men walking, a miserable 4-10, barely visible in the rear-view mirror of their NFC East rivals.
It’s enough to make me consider heading back to the mall.
Actually, I’m not sure anything could do that, except maybe Andy Reid coming back again next year.
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