I go to work every day in a place that does not exist.
Don't worry, we're still here in beautiful Primos. At least I think we are. But Primos has something in common with a lot of places here in Delco that cause me an untold amount of angst.
Places like Glen Mills, Secane, Broomall, Havertown, Linwood, Boothwyn, and even Drexel Hill for God's sake.
What do we all have in common? None of them exist - except in the eyes of the United States Postal Service.
If you can find me the Primos Borough Council, we'll have a big story for tomorrow. We're actually located in Upper Darby. The same goes for all you good, decent folks who like to remind me that you don't live in Upper Darby, you live in Drexel Hill. I beg to differ.
I was reminded of this malady again this morning when I received an email from my old friend Mario Cimino. He just happens to be the president of Morton Borough Council. As such he doesn't like the good name of his burg to be sullied.
So he pointed out to me the error we committed on Thursday's front page. The teaser there read: 'Morton woman charged in $117G insurance scam.'
Cimino begged to differ. And guess what? He's right.
You see, people who live in Ridley and Springfield can get their mail delivered from the Morton Post Office. Thus their address reads as Morton, even though geographically they don't live there.
It's kind of like saying "the Granite Run Mall, in Media." Or my personal favorite, the Media barracks of the Pennsylvania State Police. Which would be nice if either of them were actually lcoated in Media Borough. They're not; they're both in Middletown.
When people do something they should not be doing, something that just might merit being mentioned in the newspaper, we get that information from the police. And where do the local gendarmes get that info? Well, from the suspect's mailing address, more than likely as it's listed on their driver's license, of course. Which is swell except for one little thing. That may or may not be where they actually live.
People get very territorial about these things. Municipal officials in particular take umbrage when their town is unfairly slimed.
"I hate to harp on this again," Cimino emailed me, "but the April 4 front page must make a half dozen times that Morton has been erroneously tarred with having a notorious criminal among our good citizens ... When I open to the article they are actually a resident of Ridley or Springfield Township.
"While we respect our neighboring municipalities and wish them no ill, criminal or otherwise, we also take pretty fierce pride in being an independent borough, and a very safe and civil one at that.
"I've actually had to argue more than once with someone over the existence of the borough where last I checked I'm the duly sworn council president. I'm sure that residents of many of our small but mighty boroughs can relate."
Not just them, Mario.
Newspaper editors, too.
Consider the item corrected.
And just in case anyone wants to know, Dodgers great and current Angels Manager Mike Scioscia may have gone to Springfield High, but he's the pride of Morton.
Yeah, when it rains, it pours. Go Morton!