The numbers don't lie: I got it exactly wrong

It's never a good idea to let me play around with numbers. The results are never pretty.

I blame the nuns. I spent eight years under the fairly firm tutelage of the Sisters, Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. I can diagram a sentence like nobody's business. Unfortunately, the seven and a half hours of Religion and English they drummed into us every day left precious little time for such oddities as math and science.

I'm joking, of course. At least I think I am.

Any shortcomings I have when it comes to math and science are entirely my own fault. I hated those classes and avoided them like the plague.

Maybe that's why I write for a living. One other thing the good nuns did - they instilled in me a deep love for language - and in particular the written word.

Unfortunately, every once in awhile those exercises include numbers. The results can sometimes be hilarious. Take Thursday's editorial for example.

I took advantage of the measly turnout in Tuesday's off-year election to castigate how many people decided to take a powder on their most prized constitutional right.

That's right, voters stayed away from the polls in droves.

Turnout checked in at a lightweight 26 percent.

In other words, three out of ever four voters didn't bother to use their franchise. Or just a paltry one in four made their way to their polling place.

Unfortunately, that's not what I wrote.

Instead, I banged out how one in four voters decided to sit the election out? Huh? You don't exactly need a slide rule (kids, ask your parents what these monstrosities are!) to figure that one out. And I wasn't done.

I went on to state that one in four voters decided they could take this election off. Uh, not exactly.

And just for good measure, I revisited the math toward the end of the editorial. Hint to aspiring writers: It's always a good idea to finish your piece with a reference to something you introduced to the reader early in the story. I said "This week one in four citizens took a powder."

Of course, in all of these instances I meant exactly the opposite. But being numbers-challenged as I usually am, I managed to skewer the math.

What's worse, it sailed right through our vaunted copy desk and made it into print. (Surely we have at least one copy editor who did not attend Catholic grade school!).

I am surprised I wasn't torched online in our comments section, or on Twitter and Facebook, as I am most days. Nope, not one phone call.

But it did not get past one keen-eyed reader. I arrived in the office this morning to an email from Christine Blidan, who pointed out my problems with arithmetic.

Thank you, Christine! Please tell me you are also the product of a parochial school education, so I won't feel quite so inferior.

Hey, at least she didn't crack me across the knuckles with a brass ruler.