For the past week I have been consumed with a less-than-pleasant thought that is part of my business.
I have been wondering exactly what it's been like to be Robert Kerns for the past couple of months.
Name doesn't ring a bell? He's not from Delaware County, but that doesn't really matter. His name has been in this newspaper, and our website.
Kerns was the former head of the Montgomery County Republican Party, a longtime lawyer and respected figure in the community.
That was, right up until last November. That's when he was charged with drugging and raping a female colleague in his law firm after a social outing.
Kerns, a 66-year-old grandfather who has been married for 41 years, lost everything, his law practice, his role with the GOP and - most importantly - his reputation.
He was charged with adding Ambien to the woman's drink, then taking advantage of her when she lost consciousness.
As you might expect, the case made headlines. There was video of Kerns, wearing a waist belt and handcuffs, being escorted into court to face charges.
There was only one problem with the case. As revealed last week, an employee with the Montco D.A.'s office had misread the report. Instead of noting that the blood sample showed traces of Ambien, it actually indicated there was no trace of Ambien.
A humbled District Attorney Risa Vetri Ferman did the right thing. She called a press conference and announced all charges against Kerns were being dropped.
Rebuilding his reputation won't be nearly as easy.
It's the kind of thing that makes newspaper editors bolt upright in bed at 3 a.m. and wonder why they ever got into this racket.
It's not the first time I've faced this kind of dilemma.
There was the case several years ago of a principal at Chester High who was charged with having an inappropriate relationship with a student. He was charged and his case was splashed all over Page One. Eventually the charges were dropped. He again found himself on Page One. But the damage was done.
I wrote then and thought about it again last week.
I am always reminded of former Labor Secretary Ray Donovan, who served under President Reagan. He was acquitted of all charges after being taken down by a grand jury on larceny and fraud charges in the Bronx.
After the acquittal, Donovan faced the cameras and had a simple request: "Which office do I go to to get my reputation back?"
It's a damn good question. I think I have an answer. It's not a good one, but it's the only one I have.
You don't.
Neither does Robert Kerns.
There's something fundamentally unsettling about that, especially when you do what I do for a living.
Nothing anyone does will be able to give Kerns back his life, which has been dragged through the mud.
I don't know what he was doing with that woman, and frankly I don't care.
What I do know is that the most heinous thought - that he would drug a woman and then take advantage of her when she was incapacitated - did not happen. The tests proved that, even though it was botched by the D.A.'s office.
Robert Kerns, meet Ray Donovan.
I wish I could tell you where you could go to get your reputation back.
The truth is I can't.
Neither can anyone else.
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