My kingdom for some heat & humidity

I'm beginning to think there's something wrong with me.

My longstanding critics - those who insist on blasting us as a 'liberal rag' - likely will not be surprised at this turn of events.

But this doesn't have anything to do with news.

It has to do with temperature.

Specifically, I am always cold.

I wish someone could explain this global warming thing to me, because I'm headed in the opposite direction. Is it just me, or has this been an especially cold, wet spring?

Yesterday morning I started my Sunday where I almost always do, as soon as the sun came up - after a couple of hours of poking around on the website in the early-morning darkness of course - and after my wife and I did our daily walk, I grabbed the paper and headed for the deck to enjoy one of life's great delicacies, the Sunday newspaper.

My wife can go through the paper in about 10 minutes. She's what I call a 'peruser.' She casually glances at the stories and headlines.

Me? I'm more of a carnivore. She gives me the front section of the paper, and she takes the rest, because she knows she will be done with her sprint through the paper before I am even finished with the 'A' section.

We are now in our summer schedule, which includes noon Mass. In other seasons, we try to knock out Mass on Saturday evening, but once it gets nice out, I am usually too preoccupied on the deck and the yard to stop for Mass.

That means my time with the Sunday newspaper is usually bisected by our trip to Mass.

When we got back home, just after 1 o'clock I grabbed what was left of the paper and headed back to the deck.

That's when I first noticed it.

A cloud came overhead, sending the deck and yard into the shade, and I noticed that I was cold.

Now keep in mind that my preference is for hot weather, in fact the hotter, the more humid the better.

I tried to ignore it yesterday, but after a few minutes in the shade, I was shivering. I retreated inside for a hoodie and then headed back to the deck.

It was pretty much the same the rest of the afternoon. When the sun was out, it was passable. But every time the sun ducked behind the clouds, I was cold.

We are now careening into the Memorial Day Weekend. Summer beckons. Is it too much to as for a string of 80-degree days. I'm a shorts and T-shirt kind of guy. And I've yet to put on a pair of shorts so far this spring.

Yes, I know, the world will no doubt survive without the sight of these stick-man legs protruding for all to see.

In the meantime, I'll be shivering and gritting my teeth every time a cloud shows up.