I have said many times that the most important information we publish every day is not what is on the front page, or the back page either, for that matter.
It's not the lottery numbers, although it does not help when we occasionally get them wrong.
It's not the comics or horoscopes either. People were not amused a few weeks ago when we actually ran one day's horoscopes in Latin. But that's another story.
No, the most important information we publish every day is the obituaries.
No, they don't usually get splashed all over Page One. But in terms of what we do, and our mission to be the paper of record for our communities, they are invaluable.
Having said that, most of them are fairly dry stuff, recounting a person's life, loved ones, education and work experiences and of course listing the services for the deceased.
Very few of them read like the obit that appeared for one Elwood 'Buddy' Segeske III.
I never met Buddy, but from one quick read of his obit, I wish I had. And I wish more obits read like this one:
RIP, Buddy.
I wish I had known you.
Here's the obit:
Elwood "Buddy" Segeske III, age 60, former soccer player, tool and die maker, and David Bowie look-alike, ate his last Philadelphia soft pretzel on February 25th, 2016. His death followed a week-long battle with torso failure and the lasting effects of a 1992 alien abduction. He was preceded in death by his father Elwood Jr. his mother Margaret nee: Sumlktis. He leaves behind two sons, Kyle and Elwood IV, brothers Stephen and Kevin, sister Lucille (Louann Segeske ) Fleming, step-mother Mickey Segeske-Meister, life-partner Lisa Razzi, whom he met at the local psychiatric hospital, and a battery-operated cymbal-smashing monkey.
Buddy was raised on the mean streets of Kensington, where he claimed the men were men, and so were half the women. He spoke fondly of his childhood friends and those who didn't end up in prison went on to become carnies, bottle cleaners, master debaters and/or Republicans. Still, despite his neighborhood's hardscrabble reputation, Buddy says he cried the first time he made love, although it was probably due to the pepper spray.
An avid collector of safety glasses which he kept in the rear cargo compartment of his trusty Dodge Durango, Buddy also had a habit of hanging onto business cards, which made his wallet thicker than George Costanza's and ultimately required him to undergo back surgery. And although he achieved many things in his life, he was most proud of his years playing soccer, his near-perfect recall of Beatles song lyrics and his ability to hit the urinal cake with pinpoint accuracy.
To relieve stress, Buddy preferred smoking and drinking over yoga, although he did cut a fine figure in yoga pants according to his partner Lisa and an undisclosed number of female (and male) admirers. He also loved playing pool, fishing, stalking Jennifer Lawrence and looking at boobs.
He will be remembered for his contagious smile, sparkling blue eyes, gentle heart and inappropriate sense of humor.
A memorial Mass is scheduled for for Saturday at 10 am from the Holy Innocents Parish, 1337 E. Hunting Park Ave., Philadelphia, PA 19124. Family and friends are invited to attend his visitation from 9:00 am until the time of Mass.
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