'Stone'-cold coffee addict

I have been fairly lucky in my more than six decades on this Earth in terms of my health.

I very rarely get sick.

But when I do, it tends to be fairly serious.

All of which is preview to what happened to me last week.

This started about 3 a.m. Friday when I rolled over in bed and something didn't feel right.

I had a sharp pain in the left side of my lower back. No big deal, I thought. It will pass. It didn't.

It started to get worse. Then it seemed to move around to my stomach. My hands started tingling and felt numb. I was having trouble catching my breath.

I got out of bed thinking maybe I could walk it off.

Didn't work.

For a second I thought pass out.

I hunched over with my hands on the baseboard of the bed trying to think what the hell was happening to me.

Then suddenly it started to ease. I took a deep breath, walked around a bit, and figured it had past. I went back to bed. I got up later and figured it would be OK. I didn't feel good, but I figured I could muddle by.

For most of the morning that seemed to be the case.

Then, just a bit after lunch, I felt another stabbing pain in the same spot on the left side of my lower back. I knew then this was kind of serious because people started to ask me if I was OK. I got up and tried to walk it off.

It passed, for a while.

Then it came back again. I decided to try to finish work from home.

If you know anything about me, you know that I am not big on doctors. I started to think twice about it on the ride home. I was in agony. Luckily, my wife intervened. She told me not to bother going home. She had an appointment for me at the doctor's.

OF course I hit traffic on the way home. I actually gave some serious consideration to stopping along the side of the road to relieve myself. But then I didn't figure the world needed to see a headline about a local editor exposing himself on the side of the highway. The pain in my back and stomach was intense.

Of course, the first thing I did when I finally got into the doctor's office was ask where the men's room was.

And, naturally, the first thing the nurse told me - after I relieved myself - was that they would need a urine sample.

Unfortunately, that does not come on command for me.

So I started drinking water. Lots of it.

The prognosis. They're thinking kidney stones. They sent me for an X-ray and gave me a couple of prescriptions.

But here's the odd part.

After those three bouts on Friday, the pain was gone.

But it was replaced by something almost as bad.

I woke up Saturday morning with a headache that only got worse as the day went on.

By Sunday it was blinding.

Hey, at least the pain in my back was gone.

That's when I connected what was going on. The doctor who saw me Friday suggested I drink copious amounts of water, but said I should avoid coffee and alcohol.

I can't tell you the last day I have gone without coffee. I can tell you it did not go well. I don't know if you can be addicted to caffeine, but I can tell you that withdrawal is not a lot of fun.

It got so bad that Sunday afternoon I called the doctor and begged for relief. She said I could have a cup. That and three Motrin and the headache started to lift.

I still don't seem to have any pain in my lower back. The doctor said there is a chance the stone was small and I could have passed it already. It's a good thing because the doctor told me that some people equate passing a kidney stone as being "worse than child birth."

Swell.

I'll know more when they get the results of the X-ray later today.

In the meantime, if you have not had the pleasure of dealing with kidney stones, consider yourself lucky.

And if you're like me and appear to be addicted to coffee, here's a warning: Withdrawal is no walk in the park.